MOG #102: 30 Little Smiles

This week's post comes from our friend Andrea. She sent it to me last Wednesday and I've been waiting all week to post it. However, I don't think I can post this article without mentioning Elijah Marsh- the 3 year old boy from Toronto who escaped from his apartment into the tremendously freezing temperatures in the middle of the night and froze to death. You can read about it here.

Elijah's story stands both on it's own and ties in well with Andrea's connection about life, death, love and ultimately, gratitude.

So let me start this off plain and simple, a little frank if you will - someone died.  Not someone I knew, not even a friend of someone I knew well, in fact I'm not even sure how well they knew the person. But the fact of the matter is that someone died, someone's family is reeling, someone's young life is over, in an instance everything has changed in so many people's worlds and yet here we are, working, whining, worrying.

This morning as I expressed my condolences to this person who's friend had passed away, I stopped to look around to see if I could muster up something positive to say to her, something encouraging in that moment, and I was lucky enough to see about 30 children playing on a snowbank. 30 children laughing, fighting, playing, smiling. 30 fresh new lives just barely getting off the ground, just starting to learn about life. Today they will go to school, learn something absolutely useless, they'll go on a field trip, and they'll make a new friend.

At that moment I turned to see coworkers who are truly incredible, caring individuals that have come to be my friends. I saw so much happiness, that in that moment, right there - I was so thankful. It may have taken a sad awakening to just pause and see it but it was such a beautiful moment and it's so wonderful to live a life where I can press pause, look around and be fortunate enough to see smiling faces EVERY SINGLE DAY.

MOG #101: For Wade

This MOG is a little different, but really, they’re all a little different, and that’s the point.

Earlier today I was introduced to this article through school as it was an exemplar of persuasion writing that held rhetorical devices to communication meaning and merit. The topic of the article is mental health, so the blending of these two worlds is a nice way to stay cross-cultural.

Today I read the story of NHL defensemen and forward, Wade Belak, though the eyes of well-known TSN reporter Michael Landsberg (@heylandsberg).


Here's the link to the article 

(http://leftbehindbysuicide.org/blog/landsberg-his-depression-and-his-friend-wade-belak/) 

Here are my MOG thoughts on it: 

I’ve never been a sports fan. I can appreciate the appreciation, but words like “striking and fielding”, “drills” and “strategy” don’t quite resonate with me the same way words like “quite” or “resonate” do. But for once I feel like I can understand some realm of sports through an avenue I continually walk down- that of mental health. 

One rhetorical device used in this article is that of the sentence fragment, which by definition means an incomplete thought with a lost meaning. I think that’s like when you perform a movement in sports but you don’t necessarily follow through. Whichever realm, there’s a disconnect because something hasn’t been brought together. 

Today I thought about sentence fragments and how that rhetorical device is really an isolated moment itself. Maybe we’re all just a bunch of life fragments, brought together by a common thread of this time line called the present moment. Maybe we together we can make a paragraph. 
Then an essay. 
Perhaps, a novel. 

And how lucky we are to contribute to it all.

It's not about how often you contribute or what last name you sign at the bottom- rather it's what you contribute that makes the page full, or the move compete, or the message delivered. 

Tonight, I’m grateful for the person who brought this text to my attention and the structure under which this text was studied. Further, I'm grateful to this writer who so graciously speaks on behalf of a friend in both a heartfelt and educational way, not to make a spectacle, but to bring forth awareness, dignity and love to a widely criticized issue. Lastly, I feel grateful to witness, once again, what can happen when we take the “I” out of “illness” and replace it with a “We” to create “Wellness”. 

MOG #100: Pay kindness forward

This post comes from our friend Ange, who I've known since grade 1 and thank goodness for social media and being able to connect again. She posted this status a few days ago and we decided this would be a good thing to put on the blog.

My friend Sarah and I just finished having lunch and a stranger sitting across from us asked the waitress how many people were working. She and she said 9.  Moments later he took his wallet out and gave $20 for each employee "just because...".

Sar and I paid for our bills and minutes later the man asked us how much our bill costed us. We said it had already been paid and we were just about to leave. He took his wallet out and gave us $20 each! We attempted to refuse the money, but he insisted that it would make his day if we took it.

He told us to enjoy life, be happy and to pay it forward. We were both speechless!! What a sweet, generous and kind man. God bless his heart!!!!  He truly showed us we all need to be more kind to one another and pay it forward, however we can. 

MOG #99: The littles

This week's MOG will be a little different: instead of one post from one contributor, I have four little MOGS that I will affectionately refer to as the littles. The title speaks for itself but here's the big idea: we don't need to write huge posts about gratitude to understand it, we just have to recognize it and document it, taking whatever form it needs. Enjoy!

(From a colleague) I walked into an education conference today and someone came in after me announcing someone's headlights were on. Guess what, they were mine! So grateful for that guy! My day is already going to be dreadful and calling CAA at the end of the day would of been unbearable!

(From a friend) The other day I sat down to write you an MOG, but instead I wrote some poetry for the first time in years. In a weird way the medium became the message of gratitude. Grateful for the inspiration to stay writing! 

(This one was overheard between friends) But really, I don't know how I would gotten through this year without you. How was your day? How are you feeling? 

(From me) I walked down the stairs today to see my mom and I take off our boots in the exact same way. This instance fit so well into my understanding of taking time to enjoy the little things. 

MOG #98: Heroes

This post was an anonymous comment left last week. To the person who wrote this: thank you for sharing your story. Your words will, undoubtedly, touch those who can relate, reach those who cannot, and make us all feel grateful for another day to be on this earth. 

     As if starting grade nine isn’t scary enough, finding out that your dad has prostate cancer at the same time, is a nightmare. I will never forget the sinking feeling in my stomach when my dad sat me down in our family room to break the terrible news. The look in his face was almost like he was ashamed, but I knew it was simply fear. I couldn’t even react; I went straight to my room and researched everything possible on prostate cancer, only to find out that it is the leading cause of male deaths. 

       Although the cancer was caught early and my dad was able to receive the proper treatment to reduce his risks of spreading, four years later, halfway through my first year at university, the cancer returned. I remember the moment he told me. He had just picked me up for the Christmas break and we were driving back home when he said it so casually, “the cancer is back.” It was as if it were no big deal, and I know that it was his way of avoiding emotions and pretending like nothing was wrong, but to me it was the end of the world.

       You never expect to grow up fearing that one day you will lose your best friend, your hero, and the man who raised you into who you are today. You especially don’t expect to be worrying about that at the age of 14. It’s been a constant presence in my mind since the day my parents first told me, and although he now has only one doctor’s appointment standing in the way of being deemed cancer free, the fear will never fade.    

      It amazes me how positive and happy my dad has always been, despite all of the obstacles that have been thrown in his path. Even if he is scared and afraid, he never shows it. It’s as if I am the one dealing with cancer and he is the one being my support system. I am constantly shocked and inspired at the man he is and I have never been so grateful to have such a wonderful and constant presence in my life. This man has dealt with more than I could ever imagine, yet he manages to be so full of life and joy. I will forever look up to my dad and have learned never to take a day for granted because you never know what life is going to throw at you. It is these people in our lives that make the biggest difference without even realizing it, and he will be my hero forever and always.                                                        

MOG #97: Bell Let's Talk

Hi friends. Below is a series of quotes and tweets I have come across today from the Mental Health/Illness/Wellness initiative #BellLetsTalk.

The thought that started it all was this: 

"Kindness is the answer, no matter what the problem."

Let's share some kindness and concern today, wrap it up with a bow of Gratitude and share with everyone. Comment below with your tweet or quote and together let's end this stigma and create some changes. 

#BellILetsTalk about how showing your emotions is a sign of strength.

#BellLetsTalk about the friends that said they would answer the phone at 3am if I needed them, and did.

#BellLetsTaIk for those who can't anymore.

#BellLetsTaIk  about the moment I talked out loud about my problems and knew I wasn't alone.

Instead of judging people by their past, stand by them and help them repair their future.

Few things in the world are more empowering then knowing you don't have to struggle alone and you have support.
#EndTheStigma

No one should have to suffer in silence! Open up your minds and hearts to one another - end the stigma!

Don't be ashamed of your story, it will inspire others.

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change this world." - Robin Williams

You don't need to tell the world about your struggles. But you do need to tell someone.

You're not seeking attention, selfish, or weak. You're in pain. You're not alone. This is only temporary.

A lot of the closest people in my life battle mental health problems on a daily basis. They are the strongest people I know.

Depression is a flaw in chemistry, not character.

Life is full of highs and lows and we should be able to talk about the lows as much as we talk about the highs.

You don't need to battle Goliath on your own! We are beside you! Cheering for you, assisting you with tactics + caring for you.

So the retweets won't amount to dollars past midnight; those affected by mental health issues will still be tomorrow. Keep talking, because they may not be able to.

"The worst has happened, the best is next.”

Keep talking past today. A single day campaign should continue the conversation about dissolving stigmas every day.

We are all affected. Let's break down walls.

Strive to be more than just pretty. you weren’t meant to be pretty; you were meant to burn down the earth and graffiti the sky.

Keep the conversation alive so that more people feel like they're living in freedom.

Everyone is fighting a battle you can't see. Be kind to one another.

If you think physical illness trumps mental illness just remember, you can live without an arm but not without a brain.

Let's squash the elephant in the room. Don't be afraid to talk about mental illness today or any day.

Anxiety is not rude. Depression is not selfish. Eating disorders are not a choice. OCD is not crazy.

But don't worry, my ears work the other 364 days of the year too.

Don't just retweet. End your own assumptions. Read more about mental illness and end the stigma.

You are never alone. Strength lies in differences, not similarities. Keep that chatter going today.

Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear.

Falling in love with yourself first doesn't make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible.

The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for.

Because we're all fighters and we can all be survivors, together.

Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. You’re doing just fine.

Do not mock a pain that you haven't endured.

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love & affection.

For years, the stigma of being someone who had to take medication for anxiety was scarier to me than the actual anxiety.

I'm not "dramatic" I just can't always handle all of the emotions I'm trying to deal with.

Be nice to people.  Impact their lives in a positive way. You never know, it could save that life.

Even if it takes a company getting some easy publicity to make it happen, any awareness raised for mental illness is great.

#BellLetsTalk makes me smile. It's so awesome to see people raising awareness about such an important topic. Mental illness affects us all!

In memory of one of the most caring, genuine people I've ever met …

Because it's always darkest before the dawn: because you deserve to live the life you've imagined.

Because in high school, any time my friends & I would express our feelings we were "emo" or "too sensitive”.

This one is for Mrs. Black for being the most understand and accommodating teacher I've ever had.

Speak up, speak loud and speak about mental health and suicide.

Note to teachers and all caregivers: Without self care, there ain't no self to care for others!

It's through helping others that I'm able to help myself. You are not alone.


***
Thank you all for such an incredible day. Let's keep the conversation going and the good vibes rolling. 

MOG #96: Don't stop beating

I want to start this MOG with a word and definition that I feel best describes this contributor, Jessica. I shall let these beautiful words from her be yours to read...
                                           

 

May 22^nd, 2014 was the day the love of my life Aidan, passed away suddenly. Sometime around 2pm on that horrible day I’m pulled away at work to be told the grim news before his name was published in the news. A car accident. Died instantly on his way to work. This doesn’t happen to 23 year olds, nor to the people I know and hold most dear.

My parents are the first ones I call to tell and to beg for them to get me out of here. I’m working at camp, the place I met him, fell in love with him and am all of a sudden surrounded by those memories. Within hours, my step dad shows up. I don’t talk because I can’t. All I have are sobs. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t real. I felt sick. The man I was going to marry was gone. I didn’t just lose a person, I lost a part of my future.

I didn’t sleep that night, but instead lied down on the dock on the lake and looked at the stars. The stars don’t pity me. They don’t ask questions. They know, I just need peace.

I go home and my family rallies together.

If you’ve ever met my family, you know we are not touchy-feely or all that emotional with one another. “I love yous” aren’t a common thing, it’s all implied. The eight days I was home for his funeral they were there for my every need. They fed me, drove me places, comforted me. My younger sister put together a frame with pictures of Aidan and I with a poem entitled “Life Goes On”. It’s the poem my older sister sent me since she lost her husband at 23 and felt that I would appreciate it since it had helped her.

--

I’ll interrupt myself for a second here to share something really eerie. My step-dad, my older sister and I all have lost our significant others when they were 23, on a Thursday. All suddenly. All unexpected. I’m hoping this pattern is now over, as it’s now three.

--

My family stood by my side as I went to two visitations and the funeral over a two day period. They held me as I cried and were just present. I have never been so grateful for my family as I did on those days. You know your family would do anything for you, but it’s so very different when you see it in action.

Fast forward to November and I’m really struggling to find peace. Nothing helped. We had visitations, a funeral, I went and visited the crash site, we planted trees at the camp we both worked at. Nothing gave me the sense of finality that I craved. I remember Aidan’s mother making a comment telling me that if camp people were to write a book, she would read it. Challenge accepted. I started the ball rolling and got a huge response. I had it printed and gave it to his parents.

A sense of calm came over me as I handed his mother the book I put together. We both started crying because really, we just miss him. We understand each other as the two women in his life that loved him the most.

2015 is the year I stop feeling sorry for myself and create a life that I’m proud to call mine. Just because I’ve endured such a loss does not mean I will let myself dig a hole that I won’t be able to escape. Aidan would hate it and truthfully, I would hate myself in the end.

Doing something for me, his family and for the camp community really helped.

I finally found the right therapy in the happy memories that Aidan shared with all of his friends.

I’ll never stop loving him and I’ll never be able to tell my family I love them enough for what they did.
                               

I sent this song to Jess and we agreed this was the most perfect song for her new beginnings, and maybe yours too...