It
took me a few days to post this MOG, mostly because I didn’t want to open it. I
just got back to school and knew that I needed a time to read this one
carefully, not between boxes on the floor or the spare minutes between
lectures. It’s a combination of the subject matter and the person who wrote it.
Taylor has been my rock for the
majority of University; from crying about roommates in second year, to spending
hours in Chapters during the summer and countless drives around the city,
talking about everything and anything. She is the most supportive friend I’ve
ever had. She gives me more strength than I realize most times, all because she
encourages me to talk, gives me the words I need to hear and then always brings
it back to the big picture. She’s in the midst of a life overhaul, building both
physical and mental strength; a force to be reckoned with, a rock I couldn’t
survive without and a woman with more intelligence, grace and ferocity that most.
This MOG is one of the real reasons I started this project; Taylor did
something for someone else and both parties are grateful for that. It’s as
simple as that. She’s going to take the world by storm one day very soon. It’s
as simple as that.
Mare and
I went out tonight, first to Target then typically to a froyo shop and then to
Starbucks. Eventually we ended up downtown,
at the lake. We looked at the ice, ran
around a little and then decided to go home as we started to feel the cold. I wanted to go up Brant Street but as I got
halfway in the lane to turn, I did something dangerous and changed my mind,
swerving back and driving along the lake.
I never pass up an opportunity to drive along Lakeshore and pick a
random street to take home and this time, something took me to Appleby.
As we head North, Mary and I are being nostalgic and talking about past summers because what else do millennial’s do these days? Mid laugh I see something in my peripheral and realize it’s a woman waving frantically on the sidewalk, a woman just a few years older than me. She looks just like me, like my friends, people I went to school with or I pass on a walk with my dog after dinner. This situation is a bit different. She’s terrified, she’s intoxicated…but she’s terrified. We start to learn her boyfriend left her to find her own way home (which is in another city) and a white truck is now circling her and she is literally fearing for her life; I could see it. Explaining the situation does not give our emotions justice.
Mary and I had spent the night looking on Instagram and Snapchat on our phones and by this point we were almost out of battery. Now these apps seem so unimportant. Within a few minutes we let her in my car, it’s starting to snow and the temperature is dropping but mostly we just need to get her out of this situation. She’s lost. She starts talking about her kids, this guy who left her stranded and she tells us her name is Sarah. Mary and I whisper to each other in the front – how do we fix this? We called the nearby women’s shelters while I drove, but they were full and the next one was a town over. Our next safest bet was to drop her off at the hospital which is the first place Sarah suggested. That makes me wonder, has she been in this situation before? Once I knew where I was taking her I started to talk more and shake less. “He does not deserve you”, “you are going to be ok”, “he is too negative to be in your life” – all things I’ve said to close friends but this time, the words feel completely different when we say them to her.
As we get to the hospital she starts to thank us and get out of the car. Mary and I grasp to find words, anything that might help her, make her realize she has a choice, she can surround herself with positive people and that she is not alone. How do you explain to someone in that state, that you yourself have been hit by a partner or have been treated so poorly? As she left to close the door and go into the hospital, she said something I know Mary and I will remember forever. Sarah looked at both of us, and in the clearest, most confident voice we’ve heard all night, “I wish I was you, not me”.
For the past handful of months I have been volunteering in an environment where this type of activity happens regularly. Although this moment didn’t shock or surprise me, it still made me pause. Pause for a long time. It is so easy for this situation to happen to anyone and I’d like to think that as long as I live, those around me will never get themselves so entangled into a situation like this. Don’t let your phone run out of battery. Listen to your gut. Make time to consciously build self-worth through learning or expression. It’s not always about helping others as much as life is about helping yourself and each other. Sarah kept mentioning she has a nice house and car; she was dressed in expensive jeans, nice sweater vest and a Lulu Lemon headband, as if trying to prove to two twenty something’s that she is successful.
I hope people realize that no matter how successful they may appear to be, they too can find themselves in a hopeless situation. I hope Sarah wasn’t trying to explain herself to us because she assumed we would judge. I hope that Sarah continued to find people who were open and willing to help that night and I hope she finds them throughout the rest of her life.
As we head North, Mary and I are being nostalgic and talking about past summers because what else do millennial’s do these days? Mid laugh I see something in my peripheral and realize it’s a woman waving frantically on the sidewalk, a woman just a few years older than me. She looks just like me, like my friends, people I went to school with or I pass on a walk with my dog after dinner. This situation is a bit different. She’s terrified, she’s intoxicated…but she’s terrified. We start to learn her boyfriend left her to find her own way home (which is in another city) and a white truck is now circling her and she is literally fearing for her life; I could see it. Explaining the situation does not give our emotions justice.
Mary and I had spent the night looking on Instagram and Snapchat on our phones and by this point we were almost out of battery. Now these apps seem so unimportant. Within a few minutes we let her in my car, it’s starting to snow and the temperature is dropping but mostly we just need to get her out of this situation. She’s lost. She starts talking about her kids, this guy who left her stranded and she tells us her name is Sarah. Mary and I whisper to each other in the front – how do we fix this? We called the nearby women’s shelters while I drove, but they were full and the next one was a town over. Our next safest bet was to drop her off at the hospital which is the first place Sarah suggested. That makes me wonder, has she been in this situation before? Once I knew where I was taking her I started to talk more and shake less. “He does not deserve you”, “you are going to be ok”, “he is too negative to be in your life” – all things I’ve said to close friends but this time, the words feel completely different when we say them to her.
As we get to the hospital she starts to thank us and get out of the car. Mary and I grasp to find words, anything that might help her, make her realize she has a choice, she can surround herself with positive people and that she is not alone. How do you explain to someone in that state, that you yourself have been hit by a partner or have been treated so poorly? As she left to close the door and go into the hospital, she said something I know Mary and I will remember forever. Sarah looked at both of us, and in the clearest, most confident voice we’ve heard all night, “I wish I was you, not me”.
For the past handful of months I have been volunteering in an environment where this type of activity happens regularly. Although this moment didn’t shock or surprise me, it still made me pause. Pause for a long time. It is so easy for this situation to happen to anyone and I’d like to think that as long as I live, those around me will never get themselves so entangled into a situation like this. Don’t let your phone run out of battery. Listen to your gut. Make time to consciously build self-worth through learning or expression. It’s not always about helping others as much as life is about helping yourself and each other. Sarah kept mentioning she has a nice house and car; she was dressed in expensive jeans, nice sweater vest and a Lulu Lemon headband, as if trying to prove to two twenty something’s that she is successful.
I hope people realize that no matter how successful they may appear to be, they too can find themselves in a hopeless situation. I hope Sarah wasn’t trying to explain herself to us because she assumed we would judge. I hope that Sarah continued to find people who were open and willing to help that night and I hope she finds them throughout the rest of her life.
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