MOG #42: Legally, Taylor

Over a year ago my friend Taylor and I shared some very personal and powerful words with each other. I told her that whenever I get something published it would be in her honour because of the feedback she gave me- it was everything I needed to hear. There are plans in the works for publication, or at least there are my dreams and some definitive goals (Squeal!!) but Taylor has been the one making plans lately. She keeps hearing back from top Law schools all over the world who express how lucky they would be to have her at their school, her count is up to five at the moment. She deserves every single one; a product of truly hard work, dedicated work ethic and tireless motivation to succeed, coupled with the fact that she is just the most bad ass and strong minded female I know.  She has opened her life up to see what it means to live and it's a beautiful thing to witness. She is someone I am grateful to have shared so much of my life with (we grew up together too) and someone I am proud to know and someone I am excited to watch take over the world. Taylor- congrats, you're making some very special people very, very proud. 

I am not thankful enough. I wouldn’t say I’m ungrateful, but I definitely don’t recognize all the amazing things my life has given me on a regular basis. And then, yesterday happened.

                  I have wanted to go to law school for seventeen years. Seventeen. Now, while some people think that’s ridiculous, just imagine it for a second. I came downstairs one night because I couldn’t sleep (I was five), and my parents were watching Law & Order. I have no idea why, as I was so young, but I thought the court scenes were the coolest thing ever. Flash forward to 2002, and the release of Legally Blonde, and I was sold. While these notions are exaggerated for the benefits of entertainment, I still did my research. I took law classes in high school, went to university fairs whenever I could, and even pictured myself doing other careers. It just didn’t fit. When some people have dreams when they’re little like being an astronaut, or a zoo keeper or whatever, mine was being a lawyer. I can’t really place why, but I know I don’t regret it.

                  I have seen people give up on their dreams due to loss- I have seen them grow tired and doubtful. That didn’t happen to me. And that is my moment of gratitude. After attending university for four years I really have no idea what I believe in spiritually- but I find it more than a coincidence that after my father passes doors starting opening like you wouldn’t believe. I came back into contact with so many people, I won MVP for girl’s football at my school that year, I sat for my LSATs with the prediction I would have to rewrite, but it turns out I did just fine. My mother became more like my older sister- we had no one else, so we started confiding in each other things that normal mother-daughter relationships don’t include. Due to all this support and reason to celebrate, I went out more and the connections I made grew even stronger. The amount of appreciation I have for these experiences can’t be expressed.

                  Then, two weeks ago, a boy I have loved fiercely, unconditionally (and, admittedly, unrequitedly), told me at three o’clock in the morning that the one-sidedness was a lie, but he couldn’t stand to see me stay in the country for him when he knew that wasn’t what I wanted, since he first met me in our community at residence. He told me I deserved better, that I would live better, and he would always miss me and think of me often.  I was floored- we had always been drawn to each other but I never knew that someone could give themselves up like that for a girl they had never (in my eyes) given a fair chance. The doubts of my path started clouding over me, as I had not yet heard from any law schools for some time. But I opened my e-mail yesterday, around lunch time, and there it was. Ole Miss. Telling me that I was welcome there and they appreciated my life story. Then a phone call from the Dean. Then another acceptance letter a few hours later. My doubt was literally assassinated by my relief and excitement. There is nothing compared to that feeling- not even finding out that the boy you’ve always cared for would have had a family with you had you stayed in Canada.

                  I am grateful for the support. I am grateful for my own strength, and a perseverance that only my father could have taught me. I am grateful for my ability to let go of love so I can pursue my dreams, knowing that I will find it again. I am just so, so grateful, for days like yesterday, knowing that they aren’t even close to being over- they’ve only just begun.