MOG #55: Give her time

Some people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I like to think of Justine as all three. She is one of the most caring people I know with the most gorgeous and brave and huge heart. I talked to her today about writing a post and she said she would try to but life was busy. I said no pressure, talk soon. She messaged me back a few hours later; clearly, what she has to say was important enough to do right away. Sometimes we have to recognize that we have time- we have all the time our lives can allot us, but it's about making time; making the effort. Time, as we know it, and as we are about to read, is the most precious gift.
Justine's words and Samantha's story tell is to use it wisely. 

5 years ago to this day, I lost someone very close to me.

 I’ve been trying to find the courage to write this out but have had trouble finding the words. How can one write something that does justice to one of the most amazing people they have ever met and sadly lost? Then I realized, this isn’t about me or how I feel, this isn’t about my loss, this is about spreading the message that every day is a blessing, that you can find gratitude in anything around you and I know that my beautiful departed Sammy would support this MOG movement 110%.

I met Samantha when I was 14 years old at a church camp. Within one week I grew to know and love her as if we had been friends since kindergarten. She had this ability to make everyone around her smile and to always find beauty in the smallest things. When you were with Sammy, you felt like the most important person in the world, she had this way of making you feel so incredibly special. Over the years our friendship remained strong, we visited when we could, we e-mailed (yes, e-mailed) every day to keep in touch and we talked on the phone for hours.

I can still remember vividly the last time I saw Samantha as a cancer-free girl. I was out for dinner with her and another friend; she complained of shoulder pain but didn’t know why it was there.  A few weeks later I received a phone call I’d never forget, Sam had been diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer in her right arm and her chances of survival were very slim. I could not fathom why this would happen to someone so young, so incredible, with so much to offer to the world. However, when I and everyone else would have expected Sam to crumble and fall apart, she stood stronger than ever. She smiled through all her chemo, she still made sure she had time between everything to see me and catch up, she still went to her prom even after losing all her hair and a large part of her arm due to surgery. She was the most beautiful girl with the biggest smile in all her pictures. She was able to continually find gratitude in everything in her life and not let her struggles define her.

In my first year of university, we lost touch, not completely but enough. A week before her passing I had this strong urge to just simply text her and tell her I loved her and so I did. She of course promptly responded with “I love you too”. The next week I heard of her passing and felt completely lost. I came home, attended the funeral, saw old friends, chatted over mediocre funeral sandwiches and laughed at the good memories we all shared with Sammy, knowing she was finally out of pain and in a better place.

There was this song we would all sing at retreats was called “Do Something Beautiful” , it just so happened to be her favourite and my God, does it ever describe her. She found a way to do something beautiful every single day and she inspired others to do the same.

Although it is hard to have loved and lost, I am so beyond grateful to have met someone like Sam, who had such a beautiful and optimistic outlook on life. Her ability to remain gracious even through her darkest times; was and still is inspiring to everyone who had the honour to know her.

Sam’s story lives on to this day and although today is a sad day it truly reminded me how lucky I am to be here and be healthy, to have a loving healthy family, friends, a roof over my head, food on the table, the ability to actually LIVE my life.

I will be the first to admit that I am not a strong believer anymore and I’m not too sure what happens to us after we leave the physical world, but there was something about the way the sun streamed through my car windows and kissed my cheeks as I drove home from work today, I know it was her.

Sam,

Thank you for reminding me how lucky I am and for allowing me to be a part of your short, but incredible life. You will always be with me and I am forever grateful for your amazing friendship and your positive outlook on life; it truly left an imprint on me forever. I miss you immensely.

Love,

Justine