MOG #78: The first step

Another anonymous post with a very perceptive message....

No kid ever hopes to have the words "I think my parents are going to get a divorce" become a prominent thought in their mind, but for some, when the inevitable time comes when their parents do in fact separate, it becomes a part of life you have to deal with and most importantly learn and grow from. The learning in itself could be its own MOG, as I feel grateful (in a meaning of its own) that things played out the way they did - I was able to learn so much from the experience and my parents clearly weren't happy anymore. I don't want that to be the focus though, the focus to me feels like it should be showing gratitude for how far I feel both of my parents have come since then. Getting divorced is only the first step, the much bigger steps lie in finding real happiness (again), and being able to truly move on from that stage of your life. It took a long time for my parents to take those final steps, further complicated by the two children in the middle of things, but I feel like I can now step back and say they are happier now than I think I have ever seen them, and for that I am grateful. The hardest part of being in that situation was seeing my parents fight tooth and nail for several years, when all you hope for is them to focus on finding that happiness; it seems so obvious yet I'm sure it's a lot harder to find the right path to take being in that situation. It's hard to watch your parents go through such an emotional battle; I can't even begin to imagine the toll it took on them. They both are now involved with other people, seem much happier, and it's conveyed in their actions and emotions and I couldn't be more grateful that they've made it to where they are today.

MOG #77: (re)connect

Simply put, Aniqah is a woman on a mission to inspire. One in-person conversation with her and you get it: she cares, she craves change, she creates and now, she's hoping to (re)connect.

It started with a visit. Nothing special, mind you, but that day I left my comfort zone to embrace something that my parents would most definitely have stood completely and totally against.

It started with shyness. Well, actually, it started because I finally plucked up the courage to look the boys in the face and not whisper timidly with fear to the girl sitting beside me.

It started with a conversation. Not one barely audible in the corner of the little room, void of any electronics despite being a doctor’s office, but one-faced, head-on, with the children seated on the little doctor’s bench. You know the one I’m talking about: those faux-leather seats with the paper that the nurse replaces between each patient for fear of cross-contamination.

Quite honestly, it started with a sentence. A conversation. Deep-seated conviction stemming from someone who most would discard as a lost cause, a burden to society, a waste of a human being.

It started in a youth incarceration centre.

A youth detention centre, a place where children – yes, children – are held between court dates, before they are shipped off to even higher security facilities. Where young offenders are placed, to the dismay of the community, most as a lost cause as their crimes are blown up and their potentials are discarded in the media.

So it was understandable that my friend and I were more than a little nervous as we entered the facility, security buzzers and barbed wire and all. We buzzed into the front door, were let in, and then buzzed in again through the second door. The inside was exactly what you would expect an incarceration centre to look like – whitewashed floors, barren furniture, a vending machine that was only to be used when the youth’s families visited and could spare a dollar. However, the walls were far from bare – they were adorned with artwork made by the residents of the detention centre.

I’ve always believed that art is the window into a person’s soul, especially when you aren’t able to look into their eyes. And the paintings that decorated the main receiving area were made by children, and their youth shone out from the pieces. They were criminals, gang members, rough people – but at the essence of their being, they were children.

This notion was reaffirmed when I was sitting in the corner of the doctor’s small office, tittering quietly to the girl next to me, equal parts hoping the boys that came in would talk to me, and equal parts afraid they would do just that. But when I finally got that chance, I’m pretty sure I could pinpoint the moment when my life changed.

I spoke to one boy who stood out from all the rest, especially because he approached me; he initiated the conversation. He began by asking me where I was studying, and I asked him if he enjoyed school, as he had mentioned he wanted to go to college. I was surprised when he said no – if you don’t enjoy school, then what would you want to study? He looked at me with total conviction, and without missing a beat, replied:

“I want to become a social worker, and help children out who are in my situation, because I never want to see someone else go through what I did.”

Society has a funny way of painting everything in black and white. And we, as consumers, have a tendency not to question it: when we are told about young offenders, we never stop to think about the fact that they, too, are people – children – and are more than their past.

This individual has helped me see past the pictures the media has painted, and inspired me to work with at-risk youth and help them reach their goals. Sometimes, the only thing we need is a positive influence in our otherwise negative life in order to inspire us to be more than we imagine.

I am currently in the process of developing Project (re)connect, a program that links students at Brock with at-risk youth. No one ever said it would be easy, but just to know that I am part of something bigger and trying my best to make the world even one ounce better than the way it was when I came in is a reward in itself.

Our perception of gratitude has been so skewed: most would say gratitude is being thankful when you’re given something. It’s that feeling of happiness on Christmas morning, the feeling of being full and completely loved at the Thanksgiving dinner table. But I don’t think gratitude is being thankful for what you’ve been given. Gratitude is being able to help another, the warm fuzzy feeling in your chest when you start a ‘Pay it Forward’ trend, dish out food at a soup kitchen, or just spend time with someone who has no one else to talk to.

Gratitude is giving.

Aniqah leaving a virtual paper trail of articles, poems, posts and collected thoughts on her own blog which you can read here.  

MOG #76: Love, Mom

One dear mom wrote in about her family... 

My moments of gratitude for one special person would fill the universe, but nothing was more of a time to tell her how she is one of my most special moments of gratitude. She is a lifesaver a voice of reason, goofy, hard working, loving, competitive, a genius, and much more, she is my daughter.

I wanted to express my hope that we can get through the tough stuff and just be us girls and smile and laugh all the time and enjoy each others company, so for all the moments of gratitude I need to express, and will be ready for in the next while, thank you. 

Love you, 

Mom 

MOG #75: Bottled kindness

Jackie found appreciation in a small act of kindness. Have you felt the same recently? 

It’s been a while my friends, but this deserved a write up. It may be simple and silly, but its great to have a #mog moment on a day like today …

Tonight while taking the train into Toronto, a woman across from me complimented me on my water bottle. She had explained that she was looking for the same type for a while but couldn’t find one. I smiled largely, and explained that a friend of mine got it for me recently after knowing that I wanted one and couldn’t locate it either!

It was that moment that I was reminded of how great of an individual this person is, and how something silly as a water bottle has brighten my otherwise hectic week. Not only did I realize this person specifically thought of me while buying the water bottle, but also did it out of the goodness of their heart.

I am so happy to have someone like this who challenges me to think of the good parts of each and every day, and is constantly a part of my moments of gratitude.

So thank you for my water bottle my fantastic friend; you are truly the best! 

 

MOG #74: Ten minutes

Conversations with strangers is one of my favourite things ever. I honestly believe I was put on this earth to make friends with as many humans as possible.

Today I heard the best sentence I've heard in a while from someone who was once a stranger, but a impromtu life chat clearly changes that label very quickly. After hearing what her life is like these days, despite all the little things that make getting through each day difficult, and in celebration of the big things like seeing her sons progress in school, she said the one sentence that summed it all up: 

"I am so grateful to live this life."

Simple, but effective.

Does it matter who this sentence came from? It could have been someone with a great salary, family and weekend plans waiting. It could have been a immigrant who has found humble work here in Canada. It could have been a person that I spoke to for a under a minute.

But it could have been me, or you, too, or at least, it should be.

"I am so grateful to live this life." 

Find that thing that makes it all worthwhile.
 

MOG #73: Brendon's Moment

Here's Brendon: he wants to say something to you... 

The following is a piece that I wrote back in Grade 12. I believe that it still holds up well when placed in the context of my university life, or really just life in general. I think we, as people, should learn to appreciate the moment more. Without further ado, here is some thing to think about.

***

We as people are often stuck in the past or the future. We are either regretting things we should’ve done or planning things we should do. Rarely ever is there a time that we are part of the in-between, the present. You may disagree and think, “Well I’m here reading this essay, right now. Of course I’m in the present. What sort of idiot is this guy?” Now stop.

Think.

What did you think of? Was it dinner plans? Or maybe it was about your day at work. I doubt you thought, “I am reading this essay.” Which is? The present. The moment that we rarely choose to live.

You see the scariest thing about living in the moment is that is all there is. There is no tomorrow or yesterday to count on to distract you from the today. When we choose to live in the moment that is when we can see the world for the beautiful place it is. Likewise are the lives of teenagers. “I wish I was back in elementary school” and “I want to get married and get out of school” are attitudes that are the two poles of teenage life. Very rarely do teenagers actually decide to live as teenagers, rather as children or adults. And once they are adults, they want to be teenagers again, realising what they missed out on.

Over and over again we decide to live in the moment, but generally fail. It is sad though, for the moment is a wondrous gift. Think of that one person who causes the illusion that nothing else exists. At that time you were living in the moment. While it was happening it may have seemed like it could go forever. But now it is just a memory, a blink of an eye. Now imagine a life of the moment. You would live forever in it. Death would be just part of the moment, not something to fear.

The chasm between past and future runs through all of our lives. Very few are brave to let go and fall into the chasm. Those who do will find that it is not as scary as it once seemed, but paradise. The moment is when we are one with somebody. The moment is when we see beauty in the world. The moment is what we all fear but desire at the same time. It is a sanctuary from the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future. Our perfect world.

***

Similar to the moment, I believe that happiness is fully under our own control. Like choosing to live in the moment, we choose to be happy or not. It is such a simple concept, but so hard to do. Trust me, I struggle with it everyday. Find time in your day to do something that makes you happy and brings peace to your mind. For me it varies with the day. Here are just a few of the things that make me happy: going for walks, spending time with good friends, writing, staring at the sky, and drinking tea. It’s good to make sure you try to do those things that make you happy at least once a day. One of my friends started a 100 Days of Happiness photo challenge and I decided to follow her lead. It’s not too hard of a thing to do. Each day you take a picture of something that makes you happy and post it on whatever social media or blog you decide to use. The challenge is doing it each day for a hundred days. So far I’m ¾ of the way through it myself. So I challenge you, reader, to go out and live in the moment and find you happiness. Let’s be honest, the world needs more of that.

MOG #72: Celebration of Life

My best pal Lacey is at it again...

Two weekends ago I attended at Celebration of Life Gathering. This is exactly what it sounds like, a gather to celebrate someone’s life who had recently passed away. In the event of her passing, she had left strict instructions that people were to gather, be happy and eat sandwiches. Sadness was forbidden. She was a strong and outgoing women who had live a long and happy life, and she wanted her friends and family to celebrate that. This Celebration of Life Gathering made me even more grateful that I had the opportunity to meet this individual. I think that this is an admirable mindset to leave this world with and the experience of attending this Celebration of Life was definitely MOG worthy.