This blog has been a gateway of community and meeting our next contributor, Alexandra, is someone I am so lucky to have met. She's just finished her first year of University but don't let her age fool you, Alex is one of the wisest people I know. This girl shows so much grace, strength, resilience and persistence- more than most people will in a life time- and she does it all effortlessly. A true warrior, an advocate for mental health and a dreamer who will never give up, let alone let anyone stand in her way. Expect big things from this genuine soul, but for now, here are her words,
This is my first of (hopefully) many Moments of Gratitude that I would like to share. March 26, 2014 was single-handedly the best and worst best day of my life. Here’s why: my boyfriend of one year, and my best friend of longer than that, the guy who helped me transition from high school to university, the guy who was always there for me, who has loved me at my best and worst, broke up with me an hour before my philosophy midterm via text. I still don’t know how I managed to write that exam. Sure, things had certainly not been perfect for us the last little while, but I had confidence that we could work through things, but he lost faith. I sat down beside my friend in class, about to write the exam, as per usual, he asked how I was, and I just cried. I started crying halfway through the exam, he passed me kleenex and said “It’s okay, hon.” He was a silent support the whole time.
After the exam ended, he came over to properly breakup with me because there was no way that was going to happen over text. I was a puddle of tears and heartbreak, but I had to have the strength to pull myself together and tell my story of bullying, mental health, and strength at one of my weakest points. (That’s a story I will definitely share soon.) I was so thankful, and so fortunate to be chosen as one of the BrockTalks 2014 speakers, and I’m still so honoured. But I told my friends that I couldn’t do it. I could not go up on stage in front of 200 people, and who knows how many people streaming the event online, and tell them that I’m stronger than I used to be. My boyfriend was going to be there to watch and support me, but instead, he walked away. Though I guess I don’t really blame him. I was so heartbroken, but I did it. That night, my dad surprised me by showing up in the audience, my mom was streaming it online, my best friend was there with me, and friends from my floor showed up too. I was surrounded by people who loved me. I then found out that I was going to speak first. I was so nervous, but I wiped the tears from my eyes, held my head high, and gave my speech. Not only were my loved ones (and everyone watching) proud of me, but I was proud of myself. My dad said to me after, “look how far you’re going, you do not need any guy. You are independent, and strong. You’re going places, and I could not be more proud of you.” And he was right. Look what I can do without anyone holding my hand.
But that isn’t even the end. Though I was tearing up thinking of him the whole night, I still had a great phenomenal time. All of the speakers had incredible stories to tell. The last speaker was introduced, and she started to tell her story, and my eyes opened. Mary Perino talked about gratitude, and my whole life changed. In fifteen minutes. I spent the whole day completely heartbroken, thinking that I’m so alone now, wallowing in my own self-pity, I didn’t even realize how much I have to be thankful for. I no longer look at my breakup like a terribly tragic event, but I look at it as an opportunity to grow. That boyfriend and I had amazing times together, and we learned so much. But just because our time is over, doesn’t mean I can’t continue to be myself. I spent the rest of the night on a complete high because I was doing what I truly loved: public speaking, and changing the world, and being surrounded by people I love, and people who love me. I had been looking forward to that night for months, and no guy was going to take that away from me. I cried for one week, and then I moved on. No one was gaining anything from me being miserable. We were Taylor Swift Never Ever Getting Back Together. I decided to look at my breakup not as a bad thing, but an opportunity for something new. And now, he and I are friends. We talk occasionally, mostly about music, and our good memories. Life is good. It’s okay to be sad, and I’ve learned that. Life isn’t about being just happy and happy all the time. But life is also about making the best of everything that happens, the good and the bad. The best part of the entire experience was meeting amazing people. That night confirmed something I've always believed in- that everything happens for a reason, but what I came to really understand that night was the more positivity you put out into the world, the more you will get back.
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