MOG #35: January Review: the team

Every month my goal is to connect your lovely mogs into some sort of theme and present a highlight reel. As our first month comes to an end, I  just wanted to thank you all for jumping on board. I had no idea this would turn into what it has. Your support is tremendous. I can't wait to see what next month, yet alone the next year brings. At a loss for words when I try to find the sentiment to thank you all enough. Ugh seriously, y'all are the best. 
I learned a lot this week. Heck, I’ve learned a lot this year ; both in the academic sense and the past 31 days of 2014. If I had to sum it up in word though, it would be: team. For several reasons, I’ve been able to really come to understand what it means to be supported and to support someone else. If you know me, you know that I’ve never played organized sports, but since high school I’ve called my family my team, or gathered my house for a team dinner, or worked closely with my co-workers to have team meetings. Team isn’t a new concept to me , but this week I came to understand that word much more closely.

There are different kinds of teams.

The ones you’ve been on since you were 10, the ones that were with you through all the elementary school drama all the way through to university level break downs. Countless hours spent just thinking of all the things that we needed to fix and fix them together we did. So many messages, so many phone calls, so many words of encouragement, all to do just do it all again for the other person within the next few weeks. These types of teams past the point of friendship- its a team that becomes a family team. It’s a bond that cannot be broken by distance.

I have the team that I live with; two girls who have carried me through this year; who I come home to in more ways than one. Sometimes all it takes is one conversation to bring you back to where you you need to be. This week we were a team because we made each other better.

I have a team of coworkers who I love spending time with every Monday. Spending time with likeminded people brings out the best in you sometimes- this group of talented young writers make me edit everything more than a few times but not just on paper; I subconsciously edit my thoughts or my ideas, because I want to direct my thoughts into something worth talking about. This week I got to redefine my goals for my section and I felt supported by several of these team members; real people who really appreciate the words and the things that I do. These individuals make up so much of my week and I couldn't imagine my fourth year at school without them.

I have a team at home- a set of friends who check in, just to say hi just see whats good. The kind of friendships that pick back up again where you left them when you both got busy making your dreams come true. The bookmarks that keep our spots. The familiar. The grounding.

Now I'm a part of a newer team; a two person team.  A kind of team thats made on a promise. The team that is made of equals, whose only goal is to make each other happier. Someone who walked into my life and fit immediately into my everyday. someone worth my attention. It's a new team, a new set of circumstances, a new set of parameters. But there are so many signs that point to his definite place in my plans. An anchor. An encouraging, smart, brave, passionate, kind, remarkable compilation of cells I get become allied with. A real teammate. It’s as simple as that.

Teams can take years to make, or even weeks to get back on track, and days to spend together. it doesn't take long to realize who you want on your team. Once you find them, the games get easier to handle. 

How lucky am I to have all of these individuals in my life. So many different teams, but all extensions of myself; people who make my days worth pursuing. Humans that make my being worthwhile.

But of course, I can’t mention team without mentioning all of you!! You readers, you contributors, you people I get to call my friends. Thank you for writing, thank you for reading. Thank your for coming along with me.

As promised, here is a highlight reel of this month’s posts;

1: Doorsteps and stairwells: dedicated to my brother
2. Babysitting band aids: written by my great friend Andrea; our first contributor, and an awesome first post
3:To you and your kin: an account of family,  written by Bri, with so much love
4: Banks of blanks
5. Wallet sized: Kendra, thank you.
6. Mom: one of my favourite things I’ve ever written
7: When the music hits you: Matt, you have a good heart 

8. A letter of acceptance: Alex is going to change the world with her kindness one day
9. Unhooking: Kathleen writes about standing on her own two feet
10. Mr Z: Jackie, you are already an amazing teacher
11. Sarah: Thank you.
12. More than Sparks: Seriously if you haven’t read this one, you need to right now
13. Look, Crapbag: a crowd favourite
14. New: “Here’s to the new year and another chance to get it right” written by a songbird, Stef Dauglis
15. The “change room”: Dana writes about what happens when you just help someones
16. Just January: one of the most honest things I’ve ever put out there
17. Love in Letters: Good job to both Katie Trav
18. Little, but a lot: Alex just gets it
19. Family room: Cody is going to be famous one day
20. Knocks of Opportunity: Michael! You’re great!
21. Through and through: Sean you are very brave
22. B’ingPositive: one of our most popular posts ever- Maddie you are a wonderful soul
23. A prelude for your thoughts: from me to you
24. Forever moments: a love letter
25. Triple F: Lacey is one of the most loving humans on this earth
26. Seeing clearly: heartbreakingly honest
27. With a little help from my friends: Very genuine, very thought provoking
28. Better Together: Good job Samuel
29. The yell: beautiful prose from a beautiful girl
30. Great Days: Steeeeeve, what a good person you are
31. Revision: goals, goals, goals
32. Go with it: roommate anecdotes
33. And it’s only 1030: You are a good soul
34: T: ugh, you.

Can't thank you all enough. Thanks for being on the team.

MOG #34: T

There's nothing like seeing an mog in my inbox, but when I opened this one, my heart was full of even more gratitude and my eyes with tears. Taylor wrote for the second time and used some very beautiful words- ones that I have printed out and kept away for times when I need a little push to get back on my feet.There's nothing like reading an mog for the first time, but there's also nothing like having an mog written by such an incredible human in your life.
This project has already shown me many things- how great of writers you all are; how little acts of gratitude can make huge difference, how stories can be woven into a narrative, how brave you all are... but tonight, I have been shown how loved I am. Taylor- thank you. 

My moment of gratitude? I have many.

The wide varieties of posts on this blog have proven that a moment of gratitude can be defined in a picture, in a poem, in a song or in a well written essay.  Moments are something you feel and this blog has challenged many of us to put our emotions into words, not something that is easily done at the best of times.

I am lucky enough to know the person who crafted this blog.  She may not be aware, but she was promoting this school of thought a long time ago.  She promoted documenting and writing for cathartic or productive reasons in journals and I’m glad I listened.  I had bought a journal months before, but something about a late December night in 2012 changed the way I used it.

I have many moments of gratitude.  I am grateful that she, unaware of how much she was helping me, facilitated the breakdown of walls in my own mind.  With every journal session, I understand myself more.  I am grateful that she, not understanding what it still means to me, asks if I have journal’d about ‘it’ yet.  Every time she asks, I force myself to do so within twenty four hours.   I am grateful for what journaling has brought me – a calmness and certainty I’ve never had before.

I’m well into year two of journaling, thanks to her.  I naturally finished my first black Moleskine journal a year after that late December night.  I now have a bright yellow Moleskine, which visually reflects this huge shift in my life towards the positive. 

Journaling may not be for everyone, but at the core of it I am glad a friend shared something private with me and in turn allowed me to make it something personal for myself.

So many little moments of gratitude have made up one big moment of gratitude and now there are too many moments to count; but isn’t that the beauty of it?

MOG #33: And it's only 10:30

One good thing always leads to another. Today has been a morning where already so many nice little moments have happened. One of them being when my favourite person messaged me a good morning and we had a second to chat. Every time I see her name on my phone I immediately exhale- I know that when I open that message I have a sigh of relief, of love and of gratitude coming my way.
When I went to go add the picture for this post I saw an essay I have saved on my school computer that took me forever to write. It was shit, honestly. But when I wrote it I was in a really, really bad place. My heart was racing and every time I looked at that page I wanted to throw up. In a panic, I messaged her and although at the time her words of encouragement and editing suggestions didn't feel like they were doing any good, in hindsight it was one of the most selfless moments I've ever experienced. Before that time and since that time, we've been that person to talk to in moments of distress, but also moments of gratitude; ones of regret, sheer happiness, boredom... there's always a reason to start a conversation. It's a beautiful thing.
For the past four years Katie May been nothing by a beam of bright light in my life. Our souls are joined by a string, maybe a ray of sunshine, always bringing me back to the good vibes that we both crave and chase. My own little sunshine. She's off to the bigger place of sunshine come June, Australia, to spread some good love on the golden coast; to pursue her dreams of teaching, to change the lives of many, especially mine. I'll miss the crap out of this girl but I can't wait to see all the amazing things she accomplishes.Also, this post really speaks to the theme of this blog; realizing there is always, always something to be grateful for.

Sometimes when I sit in class, I allot myself 10 minutes of procrastination between listening to my Professors lecture about their passions, and trying to distract myself from my inability to sit still. Today, I find myself roaming facebook, scanning and scrolling and realistically doing nothing that properly serves my time.  I find my good friend on facebook chat and do not hesitate to spark up a conversation.

            The morning is a big thing. To those people who say, “no I’m not a morning person”, you’re lying, the morning is inevitable, but on the plus side, it is a brand new day. Appreciating morning is bittersweet to say the least, it’s the moment of impending doom when you realize you need to leave you’re cozy sheets, while also reminding you that today is a new day. Be daring, be brave and be creative. Today is not just the next day of the week, but it is something for you. YOU!

            With that being said, this morning I woke up lacking my creativity, my bravery and my daring outlook on life, today was a gloomy morning. Perhaps it was the frosty cold, or the lack of Vitamin D in the sky, or maybe it was gloomy because I had yet to find my daily motivation.  In these 10 minutes that I allotted for myself, I checked in with that friend.

   Sometimes in the world, karma works in your favour and you are blessed with a friend that you know will never leave you… like ever. And if you have yet to find a friend like this, you will. How do I know this? Because its people like this good friend of mine that have helped me restore my faith in humanity. She has made me believe that there are good people out there who are genuinely kind, passionate and motivating. She has taught me to appreciate small things in life, and to respect the people around me with the same respect I expect to be given to me, but even further; she has made me appreciate the morning.

            I think a true friendship is one where not every moment of bliss is spoken, but rather shared. Little does this person know that she is the cause for my morning appreciation because she has assisted me in realizing the morning acts as a reflection of the day ahead. The day where you are capable of putting a smile on someones face, you are capable of winning a million dollars, you are capable of making an impact on the world. And don’t get me wrong, no one knows a bad day like me (I swear I may be cursed with bad luck), but it is important to change your outlook. There is a lesson everywhere, everything happens for a reason and although some days may suck; it’s those sucky days that allow you to respect and appreciate the good ones.

            The moral of this, is make every moment count, appreciate the morning and find bliss in your friendships. Share everything; your mind, your money, your morals. Be the friend you need someone to be for you. Stay positive, radiate positivity and people will feed off your energy. By keeping an optimistic mind for the morning, you’re capable of changing you’re entire day.

            

MOG #32: Go with it

A great friend of mine sent me her mog and asked to keep it anonymous, but I think that it's fitting with her post. A simple, straight forward, honest and power note on the text of what it means to have roommates when you're in school. It's ironic, because since first year we've always come right to each other to vent or talk about all the terrible things that have gone down in our homes. In a way, it made us grateful for the good people we get to live in, and in a much more ovbious way it made us closer. I'm thankful that this friend had this moment to share- it's a very nice feeling to pair with the ending of the year. In the last four years I have lived with an assortment of girls, and oddly enough I don't regret one minute of it. I'm fairly confident that at any given point I can tell the best crazy roommates story, and there have been times that calling the police seemed like the most logical option. I've heard screaming matches like no other and have a set of earplugs beside my bed for when things get rowdy. The walls are literally made of styrofoam, the oven burns everything, the basement is freezing, the sink leaks and the toilet overflows. The last year has been a rough year for the girls of my house, and there is a solid 85% of the time that we can't stand being around one another, but that other 15% of the time...let me tell ya is something else! My roommates are spontaneous, up for any adventure, they can party with the best of them and yet are always down for a stupid movie, criminal minds marathon or game night. These girls are hilarious, when we're together it's one laugh after the next! We have a very "go with the flow" approach to things, whether it's bringing a full size air hockey table into our living room (surprise!), fostering a puppy, having a cat, finding cats in our house, having glow stick party, or any of the more extreme, personal on-goings, we just go with it. I was looking at some pictures that we have on the wall and realized that despite everything (and I do mean everything) that has gone on in this house, we have had the most amazing times. And as much as I can say that there are times when I hate them (likely mutual) I can also say that without a doubt they have my back, if I need them they'd be there before I even had to ask. I'm thankful for the human ability to hold onto the good times and I'm thankful for all the good times I've had with these girls!

MOG #31: Revision

"Hey just finished reading my copy of the press. Just wanted to throw some respect your way, you wrote a ton of articles this week, all of which were important. Your work is appreciated!"
If that doesn't sound like the start or source of an MOG then I have failed as a blogger.

It was seven actually; four for my own section, three others from opinion, reviews and external. Why would I put such pressure on my self so early in the term? Beyond me. I just wanted to write- that's all I've wanted to do since I started at the paper; since I started this blog, since I bought a $5 journal from Chapters and wrote in the thing four times a day for three months.

My goal used to be teach and to shape my life around the idea of working with others worth through themselves. To be in a classroom of my own and to plan a lesson that works for every kid, only to finish early and give some imparting wisdom to bright eyed kids before they dashed out the door. I wanted to be just as good as that teacher you loved, just as smart as that teacher you feared and just as passionate as that teacher who you worked hard for.

That goal is still a goal, but it's grown up. It picked itself off the floor in which it just finished a temper tantrum and quitely moved over to the corner to make room for other goals to come play. There it sits, waiting for it's turn, waiting for me to come back to it. It has matured. It is not a pressure anymore; I do not go to it just because I cry in the middle of the day when I don't know how these essays are going to make a good teacher to a room full of kids. I don't base every decision off of it. I don't think it's the only route for me. That goal grew up, and so did I.

New goals, bigger goals, stronger goals take the place on the traffic map in my brain. The wheels are always turning; what can I do to make it bigger? Between forming new goals and somewhat neglecting old ones. Plans and dreams are one thing, but a goal is a different thing. Goals get edited by nature, they are made to be self perpetuating. It's okay to change.

In comes that message from a friend. It's nice to hear that someone. It's so heartwarming to be acknowledged for all the hard work you did. It's rewarding to know your words are being read. It's a moment that requires a huge thank you, a moment of real and total gratitude that someone reads what you write and think's you're doing something good.

Life is too short for one kind of goal. Life is too short to not open yourself up to something or someone you love. It may end up being the thing that saves you. Writing saved me the way teaching woke me. I don't need one more than the other, I just aim to find a way to make these two coexist. Why would'nt I? It's my goal and I'll set it if I want to.

I had a prof tell me that the only difference between the living and the dead is the livings capability to grow- even in sickness, we grow or change or fight for to get better- there is movement, while the passed remain stagnant. The undercurrent will always be finding something that will keep me thinking, adapting, changing and ultimately growing. Wherever that takes me, I'm sure it's the right path.

I hope to see some of you on the way.

MOG #30: Great Days

About a year ago I started to write- seriously write, for the first time. For every time since, it's all been thanks to the newspaper at school I've been able to work with. That job has allowed me so many interesting opportunities- from meeting new people almost every week, taking time to sit with someone and just talk for a bit to get a story and to every Monday spent in the office editing away, feeling a high from seeing my words come to life. I've met some inspiring people at the Press, most notably, Steve. He's got a sharp writing voice and a sense of humour that is both undercutting and perfectly timed, topped off by being a total gentlemen and great person to bounce ideas off of. He's one of the strongest writers I know. This post is also just so Steve- so focused on the details, filled with bouts of humour, deeply rooted in reflection that all comes together to create something worth reading, and rereading. I'm glad I got to know my own writing for by sharing a space with others who had developed theirs already. I'm glad I get to call Steve a coworker, a desk neighbour and of course a friend. 

I scoffed at the chalk shrewdly drawn on the wall in front of Tower. The message had been buffeted by the rain and snow and now was just barely visible, but everyone knew what it said,

“Have a great day!”

I was bitter. From not finding an immediate parking spot, to Tim Horton’s running out of Bacon Breakfast sandwiches—it just wasn’t my best day. So I took that note as pessimistically as possible and thought to myself, why would they write that message? No one is going to be affected by it.

It wasn’t until I walked into the school that I changed my mind. I saw a crowd (maybe even a herd) of students huddling together for warmth while waiting for the buses. There must have been 50 people in a space that would be just as crowded with 5. As I looked around the area, (standing in the walkway, getting in many people’s way- no doubt), it hit me that I was in a society of tomorrow.

As students, there’s the dominant through that we are somehow separate from society, this is not true. We are a society. Our little University of 18,000 people is its own society. We are 18,000 people that share the same hometown, many of the same goals certainly the same work ethic. What else would entitle an official society?

Still looking around awkwardly, I began to see a variety of people. Some who might be in Political Science (our mayor and councilmen of tomorrow), others in Bio Medical Sciences (the doctors, nurses, veterinarians that could be taking care of our families in a few years) and the English Majors (who will be stocking the shelves at Chapters for decades… just joking).

All these people, who may stay here in Ontario or move to the United States, Luxembourg or Taiwan, are all here in a single exposed space for about four years. Just think about the fact that every person you talk to, every interaction with any other person will change them and add to their life. They’ll bring it that with them to their families and their future workplaces and communities. So we’re not just changing the environment of a few Brock students at Brock, we are shifting the perceptions of the entire world.

Then I remembered the scribbled chalk message on the wall outside. Every one of them saw that, it would be impossible to miss. Every one of them would read it. Every one of them felt a moment of happiness, I guarantee it. Mine came… a bit later, but it certainly did arrive. An act of kindness so random, so ingeniously simple, that just might have chance to make influence, and that influence has the chance to change the world.

Quite simply, the point is that I want you to have a great day and wish others the same. 

MOG #29: The yell

As a lover of words, it's always nice to find meaning and resonance in numbers. If you remember Brianne, she was our second contributor and this is her second post and the second one I got in a triad of inbox messages and that's enough dots to join to make me believe in the power of connections. A very honest, intricately woven post that brings attention to the moments you need to hear, not just the ones you're grateful to hear- a very Brianne-like move. Happy reading, happy listening. 

I am extremely, undeniably and overwhelmingly grateful for people who yell.

I’m grateful for those who yell out of anger and say hurtful things, for they have taught me not only how to let their words strengthen me, but also to never be like them.

I’m grateful for those who yell out of love, because they know and you know that you’re being stupid, and you need to hear what they have to say.

I’m grateful for those who yell words of encouragement, for pushing me to do one more rep, to get out of bed and face the day, to finish this one last paragraph in this essay that’s taking forever to write.

I’m grateful for people who yell out of their own craziness, to teach me that sometimes you’ve just gotta let it out and be slightly animalistic for a moment before continuing on in your day.

I’m grateful for people who yell the lyrics to a song as they’re driving down the road or skipping along down a sidewalk, for they have taught me to have fun, to be carefree.

I am grateful for people who yell, because they’ve taught me all about exactly who I want to be – someone who is motivating, encouraging, passionate, strong and caring; someone who understands people and can say exactly what someone needs to hear… Someone who isn’t afraid to speak her mind in any situation.

To anyone who has ever yelled at me or around me: thank you.

MOG #28: Better together

For the first time in four years I don't have a class with this individual, and I'm so, so sad. Since first year drama classes we've been the apple of each other's eye in various social settings, always commenting on the latest pop culture reference or singing some song from song musical or just sharing giggles of mutual respect. What a guy. I will always remember our first interaction.. some weird skit where we just kept saying "hello" on the 'phone' to each other really loudly; I think you were imitating the stories I had told you about my family- still makes me crack up. One time in a class he quoted something I had reflected on, and took my word into something even further in a way that I never thought of. Instant tears both in that moment and in this one of reflection.  Here's a lovely little post about friends, growing up, and change. Sam, I'm so glad you got around to posting. You'll always be my favourite long-limbed human. 

Being asked by someone to write something that you’re grateful for is probably one of the most difficult things to do. It’s difficult because you begin to think about your life as a whole, while remembering what exactly you’re grateful for, and it makes you remember the million things that have happened to you in your life that made you smile. One thing came to my mind though, and here I go trying to put what makes me smile everyday into words.

I’m grateful for university, but I’m way more grateful for my roommates. Coming into university can be one of the scariest times in someones life and often we seek out people in the first week of being there to make us feel at home and comfortable. From the first day of university, I had already met some of the people that would change my life forever. By the end of second semester, I knew that I had four individuals that would be with me until graduation day, and hopefully many years after that.

Friendship is one of the most interesting things in this world, and I couldn’t be more thankful that I made the friends that I did. These are the four people who have changed my life by creating an environment where I felt able and comfortable to finally be myself and where I could finally show the world who I was. As cliche and corny as all of this sounds, and as many Tumblr quotes that you can read saying the same thing, this is my reality and I couldn’t be more grateful for it. I came into university closeted, and honestly incredibly afraid to be myself by telling the people I loved most that I was gay. I’m sure my roommates had no idea of exactly what they were doing, and how much good it did me, which is another reason why I think our friendship is that much more important. Somehow five people being themselves and figuring their first years of university created an opportunity and space for me to change my life. I often think about what would have happened if I hadn’t moved away to school or if I hadn’t met these people, and nothing is scarier for me to think about. Being grateful for their friendships means that I couldn’t imagine my life without them. Not only did they create a space where I felt able to come out to them in confidence, but they carried that out by always supporting me in everything I did thereafter. I did the same for them (just as any good friend would) and the longer I’ve known them the more I find that we’re constantly there for each other no matter the circumstances.

I’m grateful for these friendships because they are the glue that seems to have held my sanity together over these stressful and difficult years. There is nothing that we haven’t talked about, or dealt with, and as individual as we all are I like to think that we operate best as a team. We’ve been through thick and thin and like I’ve said before, I couldn’t be happier about it. Friendship is often this thing that nobody really acknowledges or talks about because we assume it will always be there and be as strong as it always has been. That’s why I’ve chosen to talk about it in my moment, so that I could put it into words for people to see and for people to know how important they are to me. Some people have fought with their roommates, changed schools, moved out and moved on. I’m grateful that I have had the time of my life with four people that I went from calling strangers, to calling family. If you’re going to take anything from this moment, tell your friends, family or special someone just how important they are to you. Being honest and open about stuff like that is something you should never be ashamed to talk about. It’s things like that that show people just how much you mean to them, and how without them, you’re not really sure if you would be as happy as you are today

MOG #27: With a little help from my friends

I just got back from a staff social with my newspaper workplace and it genuinely felt like friends getting together for sushi rather than co-workers awkwardly picking rolls together and bringing cue cards full of conversation starts. Friends, real friends. It's been the topic of much focus recently, from hearing I have to change campuses to realizing I may never see some of my friends again once they graduate this spring, even though we've spent so many important moments together over the past four years. Friends, true friends. Like the ones who do homework with you on a Saturday afternoon; or the ones who let you in on important parts of their lives or the ones you know you can always count on to answer you messages when you're trying to make sense of why the world seems to be against you that day. Friends, good friends. Our next contributor is a boss, but also a friend, and someone who has been incredibly supportive of mogs. Bruno sent me a message today as soon as I got home and I guess we must be on the same brain wave today- feeling grateful for the idea of friendship, each in our own way, yet somehow through the same parameters.
How lucky are we?

I've been trying to come up with a good example of a moment of gratitude in my life for this amazing project, and even though the mastermind behind it had given a 360 day deadline for a submission (she knows how busy and crazy things can get for me) I've been hoping that I would be able to complete this task earlier than that. And then last night happened.

I had made plans with who I would consider my "best bro", my dude, the one other guy that I can chat about everything and anything. This was a big deal as we haven't been able to actually hang out in since before Christmas, and I'm actually still in possession of his present. Anyway, the plan was to meet up tonight and go out in Hamilton with a few people for drinks and general merriment. I received a message sometime in the afternoon from another group of friends who were also getting together that night asking if I wanted to hang out, and respectfully declined explaining that I had plans already, but assuring them that next time they could count on me.

I sat around at home after dinner waiting to hear from my buddy as to when exactly plans were taking place until 10pm rolled around and no word was heard. Finally I received a text explaining he'd be late getting out of work and didn't think he'd be going out anymore. Under normal circumstances this type of text would not normally bother me, but given the frequency of failed attempts at getting together with this particular person, it was particularly upsetting that once again plans had fallen through. Angry, upset, and in general wanting to give up on the night I began to think that I should just queue up the Netflix and get ready for a night in. Suddenly another text comes through...my other group of friends checking in to see if I still wanted to hangout, and that if I was willing to make the trip out the Brampton that I should go because they'd love to have me with them. 

My night was given new hope! The anger I felt was quickly replaced with a happiness, and a feeling of being cared for by my friends. My best friend in the world encouraging me to not give up on the night and to come out still if I felt I like it. Well, I ended up making the trip to Brampton, I had a fantastic night with really good friends, and woke up this morning with my moment of gratitude.

This is certainly not the biggest of example of the reason why I'm grateful for my friends, but in that simple action of checking in, and wanting me there with them, and helping to turn my night around, I come to understand why gratitude and care towards our friends is important. I don't have a lot of family in Canada except for my nuclear family (mom, dad, brother,sister). My entire family is an 8 hour plane ride away from me. But in all the time I've lived here I've been able to connect with some people, and with one in particular (she knows who she is) , in such a manner that I don't feel that absence of family. I don't feel that absence of the love and care that one can get from a relative. When I do get the chance to visit my family in Peru, I can honestly say that I get homesick for Canada because of my friends. So I wanted to express how grateful I am for this. For the small things, and the big things we do for each other. For the way that you have become my surrogate family and continue to offer a love and care that is a little difficult to come by sometimes because of distance.

Thank you.
We all saw Stand By Me right? Let's just change the age but let this realization sink in...  "I never had any friends later on like the ones I did when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone?"

MOG #26: Seeing clearly

This week I came across my first article I wrote for my school newspaper, and I felt humbled to see how much I have improved writing style. Yesterday, I saw one of my first tweets from the start of this MOG journey and I said “500 pageviews, I’m speechless,” and I again felt humbled, this time to know had readership. Tonight, I saw one of my friends break down and tell me a two sentence story that left me humbled, but in a much different way.

We were discussing student loans and paying off debt after graduation. She expressed how nervous she was, how much she just wanted it to be over, and how quickly she would have to find a job to pay of her tuition. I started rambling off perils of wisdom about money, saying that she can’t worry about stuff like that; money comes, money goes, everyone has debt, everyone pays it off, we all go through it. I told her she would just have to work two jobs, get it done, and then be free; “just pay them, you can do it; you can do it in a matter of years and still live well”.

I thought about my relationship with money and the way I learned how to handle it, from my parents. In the way that probably most people from my hometown would do the same; my approach to my approach to money is very lassie-faire, very wishy-washy, very naive.

“Growing up I was always told ‘don’t worry about it’ and it just got done. Whether they paid or I paid, it just gets paid and you deal.  It taught us to spend both wisely and foolishly; we get what we want when we pay for it, or if it’s not worth the investment we don’t. Does that make you feel better? It’s honestly not a big deal, you can’t worry about it.”

“Not really…”

“Okay… that’s okay, why?”

“Because I just keep thinking of that time when I was ten and I told my mom and I needed glasses but she couldn’t afford them.”
…
“She ended up going to a bar and accidently crying to a stranger because she was so upset. He gave her $200 dollars on the spot.”
…
“He was actually a man known to cheat on his wife, so that was surprising. He never once asked for anything in return. I’ve only had two pairs of glasses in my life and I still have that first pair. They were Disney. Purple.”

My jaw hit the floor and my heart leapt into my throat. As I let the shame wash over me, she just watched my reaction, my honest reaction. Thoughts are always free.

 As she went on to tell me the stories of her childhood and the other numerous, abundant times her mom found opportunities to support her. It couldn’t have been easy being a single parent household with a dead beat dad and siblings, while still young, sometimes going years without buying herself new clothes, choosing to spend her paychecks dressing her children.

So after we both cried, I apologized and she nodded, “It’s okay, you didn’t know”.

She’s happy to share that things are better now than they were, and is she ever so grateful for those selfless years of love from her mom. “Even to this day we all get excited when she buys for herself because it’s so rare she does that, after so many years of being accustomed to spending for someone else.”

I’ve never felt so discounted in my life. Here I am shelling out financial advice while I have a Visa bill  from Christmas just patiently waiting to be paid.

Like the true and honest good friend she is, we picked back up where we left off, but headed in a much more valuable direction in a talk about what she would do after graduation.

She will not let any amount of money stop her from living, in the same way her mom put aside her fears and just found ways to make ends meet. She’s going to be logical and smart and determined, like her mom was all those years. She’s going to make lists and think ahead and plan accordingly, like her mom had to she had no other choice.  She’s going to be brave and selfless and not afraid of anything, like her mom was for the benefit of her kids. She’s going to work her ass off, like her mom did and still does. She is strong, like her mom always is..

She’s going places because of her mom’s bravery manifested in her, and turned into something just as beautifully strong.

Since she was ten, she’s been able to see the world and add some beauty into it, because of her mom wasn’t afraid to do anything she could to provide. She sees these things like money clearly, but also things like love, kindness, respect, family and strength, all because of a great optometrist, a stranger who saw an opportunity for giving someone else an opportunity and a mother who’s love was stronger than any dollar amount. 

MOG #25: Triple F

Next up is one of the first five people to know about this blog. What started out as a "Girl, I had this idea" has turned into this space and without her I don't I would have been as brave and faithful in the project as I have been. That's a huge testament to what kind of a girl she is- always there to support in any way she can and in ways that make you know it's genuine. Lacey is the definition of a good (great, best, fantastic, top-notch) friend. She continually gives 1000% of herself to whatever she's doing, never have I seen such selfless commitment from one person, such naturally occurring drive, such determination to make a difference. Talented, witty, strong; always ready for a challenge, always ready to grow. We started off as co-workers but quickly became inseparable over the summer. Even though our respective cities mark the distance between our schools, the amount of messages and snap chats keep the positive vibes going throughout the day is a sign of just how much we thrive off each other. She's someone I'd trust with my life, someone I turn to for a laugh, a cry or for a reason to keep my head up. She's someone I am so lucky to have a friend. She's also daughter and sister to a tight knit family; the love in that household is immersible. This group is where she gets such a strong sense of self, humour and direction from. It's nice to see someone care as much about their team as they do their future, and both look pretty bright to me. Triple F: Forced Family Fun.

Starting in our teenage years my parents implemented something called forced family fun. These are different mandatory family activities that aren’t necessarily the most fun, but rather are bonding moments where every family member’s attendance is mandatory. Some examples are long car rides to visit open houses of houses my parents have no intention of buying, taking down the Christmas decorations, working at the family’s garden centre on May 24 weekend, and my personal favourite watching March of the Penguins on its opening weekend (my parents tricked us into this one, and we were the youngest in the theatre by 40 years). These “Forced Family Fun” moments are moments that, as much as we were being forced to do them, are memories that will stick with us and have built us in to the strong family that we are today.

Below is a poem I wrote about my family and these moments when I was in grade nine.

Triple F… Forced Family Fun.

Fight with them, fight for them They’re the ones you run to when everything goes wrong They drive you crazy, they keep you sane They encourage you to succeed They wear you down and they lift you up They go out of their way to make you happy There is nothing they can’t fix They are like a shield when you go into battle But you can’t stand to be around them You scream at them to Go Away! But they don’t leave you, That’s the best part. Family: a bond between people that will follow you through your whole life

MOG #24: Forever Moments

This next contributor wanted to stay anonymous, and I can't argue with that. I can say he's a hilarious guy. One of those people that come into your life and you dismiss after a while, only to come back months later and resume a friendship based on nothing but fruitful conversation. Slowly but surely, messages to and from have become routine, one that is both grounding and unpredictable. If I say anything else I'll give it away.

I think picking one moment of gratitude as an optimist is a challenge. Explaining why it stands out is nearly impossible.

For me, I have to start with the word "moment". I have to scratch out stories, I have to scratch out events, I must ignore relationships. As little as I may know of moments, I know those don’t meet the definition. That leaves me with seconds, minutes, and instants. Snap shots. Pictures.

Now it may be true that a picture can tell 1000 words; what’s more is that finding those words is impractical. I can’t pick one moment. I can’t pick one photo. I know what they all have in common though. They were moments that lasted forever. They are here today, were there yesterday and will be around tomorrow. If my mind were a novel they were the authors. Those mathematical seconds physics could not explain. A lifetime in a second; a second to last forever. Forever still. We get countless hours, millions of minutes, billions of seconds but only a spare few moments.

That moment a stranger taught me positivity. That moment time stood still. With Her. That moment the weather forced me to stay another night. That moment I thought I was defeated. The Moment I triumphantly defeated. That moment words could not describe. …and every moment I could not explain. Those Moments that tell a tale; the Moments that write a story. The Forever Moments words could not describe.

MOG #23: A prelude for your thoughts

Hello you beautiful people,

I just need a minute to explain the next few posts- 6 to be exact. Yep, that's right, today I received SIX MOG's from young, riveting, brave and extraordinary people just like you. Some of them I know quite well, others not so much and one I just 'met' today. They all reached out to me and said something along the lines of 'I want to write for you'. I thought about spacing them out, as a marketing-like strategy, or even as a way to just make posting more regular instead of giving you so much to sift through. But there's something about today that makes me think that we all need a little more faith, positivity and gratitude. Blue Monday is just around the corner (Google it... or watch for an MOG next Monday about it), but if feels like everyone's already feeling the affects of his dreaded and desolate season. Bad season, not a bad life.

Today I tried to work through a thought of 'No Bad Days'. What if, every day was just a good day? It's easy to think that's a reality now, because I've had a personal day (Sarbucks, Greek salad and cheap Tuesday movies-- go see Wolf of Wall Street, immediately), but I know that not every day is necessarily a 'good' day. Not every day is a 'bad' day either. There is compromise though.

What if we treated everyday like a dollar? Has there ever been a person to turn down a dollar? Have you ever encountered an unwanted dollar? I definitely haven't (Wolf of Wall Street definitely didn't either). Think of everyday as dollar- someday you'll go through several dollars just to get your money's worth, other days you'll budget how you spend that one dollar, and sometimes it might be nice to save that dollar, to come back to that bad day and think, "What did I learn from that one really, really bad time in my life?". If we value our time here like we value the money we burn through, we may all be in a much better mental and financial state.

Thank you all again so much for reading, commenting, reaching out, submitting, caring and most of all, coming back. Your two cents make me feel like the richest girl in the word.

Spend wisely, live abundantly.

PS this is a seat I sat in on my bus ride back from the mall. It's always all about choice, isn't it?

                                          

MOG #22: B'ingPostive

I am very excited to share this one with you. This is Maddie, a remarkable young lady whose striking story speaks for itself. I'll add in my thoughts at the end.

It's hard to believe that one year ago today I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia. It is still so surreal to think that not only have I been face-to-face with such a scary cancer, but my friends and family were always there to support me. I remember when we got the phone call saying the words a parent ever wants to hear, 'your daughter has cancer'. 

 I was about to go to costco with my dad after a long weekend of an anticipated final appointment with a hematologist. Other than the scary bone marrow biopsy, it was a normal day. I will never forget the look on my parents' face when they walked into the room and had to tell me the dreaded diagnosis. I just started screaming 'why' and crying hysterically crying. With the help of my family I packed my things and headed to the Juravinski Hospital where I began my long, scary, very real journey. I was never alone. 

Through chemotherapy, the ICU, nasty bone marrow biopsies, radiation, a stem cell transplant and many other procedures, my friends and family were always by my side. My outlook on life has changed drastically. I no longer have the time to sweat the small stuff nor do I have the time for people that do. I can say with full confidence that I never thought in a million years that I would ever have to go through this hell of a journey. I am so blessed for each and every person who has helped me along the way. It made me stronger knowing that people were praying for my survival. 

People ask me all the time what 'BPositive' means and why I say it all the time. On the first day in the hospital I needed blood transfusions before I started any treatments. I never knew what my blood type was and she the nurse brought my transfusions into my room and said 'BPositive' I took it as a sign that everything was going to be okay. It put me at ease and has been my mantra ever since. So when times are hard, just remember that your attitude and positivity are 80% of the battle. There is no use in worrying about the hints you can't change. Just find the good in the bad and dance in the rain! My journey will never be over but I'm glad I'm sleeping in my own bed tonight. I kicked cancers ass and I am proud of it! BPositive!!!

***
I made this title B'ingPositive to relfect Maddie's current state; she is a human Being; she is Being positive, she is Being granted more years on this earth to do her thing. 'Be' works on its own, espeically for the way she framed it- you really can't argue with that positive logic. I just see Being as a bigger verb, a more powerful word, and a sentiment that greater reflects what this girl is doing, not did or will do. She is here, in all forms and tenses, she is here. She is Being the best that she can be. She is living beautifully and she is finding gratitude in just Being. 

MOG #21: Through and through

So for a while I had a theory that I didn't want to accept MOG's from strangers. This was because I just have too many people I want to write first before I let strangers or friends of friends post. I really like having something to say about each contributor, writing those spiels and coming up with titles gives me a sense of ownership that I think is necessary when managing a collaborative blog. That's why some posts take longer to come up than others- I want to hand pick the words that frame the introductions, like an author's biography at the back of a novel, I just want readers to see you all in the remarkable way I see you. So today when Katie told me her friend Sean had written a post I was hesitant to even accept it- would his post be taking the place of one of my friends or family? I discussed it a bit with my roommates; they understood the level of personal connotation that comes with managing this blog, but as much as I could convince them, I couldn't convince myself. If someone takes the time to read our entries and then stops what they're doing to write their own, how could I be so selfish as to even think of not publishing it? So the rule is, that I won't be opening up an e-mail account soon; it's just too early to get MOGs from souls I may never met, but it's not too early to befriend that friend of a friend on Facebook and get acquainted before posting their words here. So that's what I did, and turns out Sean and I have mutual friends, interests and experiences. Just the beginning of our friendship and just the first page of his story that we all get to read. I had to remind myself that this blog isn't for me- it's for you. It's for us. This post, is for Sean. 

            Winter can be a stressful time for people.  I’ve seen it all around.  And it recently hit home for me.  Ending for Winter break 2013 and transitioning into the New Year was probably the lowest of the low I’ve ever felt.  I happened to make an on a whim decision I told myself never to make during a time where other outside forces like school and finals were about to come my way.  I began to obsess over it and try to balance my anxiety at the same time as completing finals.  What happened you ask?  Well earlier this year I got a tattoo on my shoulder.  Something I knew I had wanted for about two years.  I always wanted tattoos.  This one was very special to me, representing my love for my analysis of my past, present and future.  It was a self expression to show my love of nature and love of the idea of direction in life.  I had a great summer and fall in 2013.  I began work at Rodman Hall.  This art gallery was where I met some of the most supportive people in all of my time spent in the visual arts field.  I found a new love working with kids, and felt like I was finally on the path to a future I was going to be happy with.  Come fall I also rekindled my lost skill for painting and started playing music again daily.  By the time this tattoo was complete all of this history now remained on my arm. 

            At the beginning of December I decided I wanted another but it was not as thought out as much.  The artist took some artistic liberty and a good piece of my skin was then inked with something I was not happy looking at.  The anxiety over the tattoo led to a finalized decision and new obsession about Tattoo Removal.  This obsession carried many worries about how much ink would come out from my arm, the cost of the procedures that were going to take up the next two years of my life, what lasers were going to be used, and what other people’s results were by the end of their journey.  This obsession drove me into a deep depression.  Thoughts of wanting death began, uncontrollable crying sessions in front of my mother, father, and sister happened.  I felt low, stuck in a hole.  In a dark place about something I did to myself I never wanted to get myself into, all because I didn’t think out my actions the second time around.  Come Boxing Day and a trip to the hospital I was put on meds for anxiety and depression.  As soon as I began my medication, I was able to snap out of it and notice things I used to love. 

            A year before in 2012 I waited for someone. She was a new girl in my life who I had not so much time with because she lived the furthest west you could go across the country.  Boy was she something.  I had seen this beauty in her and knew I was going to wait this small amount of time for her.  She had to take a trip for herself to South America.  After she had returned, she flew me out west to work for her family, see the other side of the country, and just live with her in my life.  For two months I had to wait for her to fly back to Canada though.  I was left in my hometown, already living an extra two years at home to go to college, by that point I just wanted out.  But I found ways to cope.  I walked around my town a lot.  Saw the beauty in the maple trees in people’s yards, felt the cool winds from the beginning of summer on my face, got lost in my music, and just keep looking at the sun and clouds knowing tomorrow would come.  During these walks I thought a lot and during that summer I came home and painted a lot.  A new found talent became something I lived for.  I completed some of the best paintings I’ve ever painted in that 2 month waiting period.  Painting, walking, nature, time in forests, walking familiar streets and seeing the same houses you pass by for hours on end.  These things and appreciations were my life for a long time.  They were my peaceful escape from all my worries and stress.  They remained my therapeutic practises for when I moved back home, then to a newer city to go to University, and even when the time came for her and I to part our ways.

            Back to Christmas now.  After being medicated for the physical reactions to my anxiety and worries, I began to take a new course of action.  My Father and Mother rekindled my ability to look forward and not just backward.   Sure I had made a mistake, something that really hurt me emotionally and mentally.  But now I had to focus on all the old things that made me happy and understand I had other priorities to live my life for.  My dad began going on walks with me.  No longer was it just me now.  We would talk about his life when he was my age and discuss where I’m going with my life.  My mother cried over how proud she was of me.  She was able to view her son’s paintings in a local cafe and began to tear up quite a bit. So many new great things were coming up. 

            A new semester at school means I can now paint again more of what I want to paint and actually have it count towards my education.  I also now have a new term at Rodman Hall and am looking forward to working with all my old friends and co-workers in helping today’s youth be creative and crafty.  This month I was also able to put on an art show with my best friend, brother, and over all ARTner In Crime (yeah you see what I did there) at one of our favourite cafes.  This really showed me what potential I had.  Not just in making art but in getting it out there and being involved in a creative community with other people passionate about art.  Because of all of this, and seeing my mother’s reaction, I am now experiencing what I was in the summer of 2012.  No longer am I stuck.  I am recovering.  I go on a walk everyday on my own, I eat healthier, sleep better, paint every day, and take life one day at a time. 

            To the Future.  My sessions for laser tattoo removal are booked.  I’m very happy with where I’m going and the fact it’s so professional and 10 minutes from my childhood home just makes it even better.  I’m going to keep going home this semester and paint and walk with my father and tell my mother every day how much I love her.  Without her I probably wouldn’t have survived these 21 years.  I’ve decided for fun to make some new changes to counter life’s inevitable change and made some new strategies for staying positive in the process.  TO THE LIST OF REALITY AND POSITIVIE THINKING!

1.       Its just a tattoo, people get them all the time, and I’m not the first to have one I don’t like.
 2.  My new organized life schedule for this semester continues to move me forward and make me even closer with my parents to whom I love very much.
 3. staying positive and laughing about all of this is starting to make more sense and in the long run, I’m still Sean. 
4.  Being Sean means remembering those loves for nature, being outside, playing music, not being afraid to nerd out about your favourite bands, walking with a hop in your step when you’re bored, painting what you want to paint because you love doing it, and knowing that you’re never too far from the people who love you most whether it be friends or family. 

Something I learned from counselling today was that anxiety is weighed by negative thoughts and ability to cope.  If you keep your thoughts positive, it becomes easier to cope.  Keep thinking positive; take pride in what you’ve done, take pride in where you are now, and where you want to go.  We’re all human, and even in through the storms and raging winds, you’ll always be able to find that sunny day for a walk, some good tunes, chats with your father, and things to be thankful for.  

MOG #20: Knocks of opportunity

It's nice to know if you reach out to someone, they will reach right back for you. Such is the case with Mike; we were friends in high school and managed to keep in touch when we went to the same university. Such a passionate person, with big goals and even bigger dreams- a true go getter. Always a lovely surprise to run into this guy and he's one of my favourite people to have coffee with. If you know him - you can't help but be affected by his optimism, or practicality. What a great testament to mankind he is. Enjoy a well said MOG from a well spoken guy. 

It’s amazing how there are 1440 minutes in every single day and each one presents an opportunity. It’s also amazing how so many people let so many of these minutes pass by without recognizing the opportunity that presents itself.

Over the last 5 months I lived in Hong Kong as part of my semester abroad. I was blessed with so many opportunities along the way that I started to appreciate these precious minutes more. Obviously there are the big opportunities like having the chance to live in a new country, experience a new culture, try new foods, and meet incredible people. But what I didn’t think about was what the country was really made of. I had the opportunity to donate my bedding to a homeless person that needed it more than I did and I had the opportunity to take part in traditional Chinese dinners with my new roommate. Most of all though, every moment I stepped out of my room was an opportunity for me to better myself, to grow up, to change, to experience, but most of all to broaden my perspective. My opportunity to travel gave me the opportunity to get to know the world from a different perspective and ultimately gain much more appreciation for the people and places on this planet. For that, I am grateful.

My opportunity did not end when I came home though. I moved in with 5 new roommates which gave the me opportunity to meet new people, and new friends. I have new classes at Brock and this has given me the opportunity for a fresh start.

Everyday we are blessed with opportunity whether we know it or we don’t. For this, I am grateful.

MOG #19: Family room

One of the reasons I started this blog was because I wanted to get to hear from other writers, not that you all aren't great writers- the stories you've given me have been incredibly touching, but to read a post from someone who appreciates the stringing together of words in the way I do gives a great amount of satisfaction. I love writing, but I love reading so much too- especially when I have someone like my friend Cody telling his story. We met through English classes and I wish we would have met earlier just so we could have had more discussions, shared more ideas or given the chance to just be in the same class. Regardless, he's a very talented man, with a great view of the world and the words that come with it. I'm sure this isn't his first and only MOG, and I hope you all enjoy his craftmanship as much as I do. 

It took a while since setting out specifically to locate and write about a worthy moment of gratitude to come to the realization that all of them are worth writing down. Scouring your day to day life for something huge can, as the cliché goes, cause you to miss a small thing infinitely more important. For me, I found that today watching the San Diego Chargers play the Denver Broncos half-asleep in my living room.

The red leather that makes up the large part of my family's living room couch is always impossibly cold when your skin touches it, regardless of how long someone has been sitting on it. It's as if there's a tiny generator hidden under the middle cushion pumping cold air through all the cracks in the leather. A by-product of stretching out on this particular piece of furniture, then, is that you must first seek out and procure the warmest blanket in the nearby vicinity of the couch to protect yourself from the harsh winter of its fabrics. After arranging myself into a human burrito with a purple shell, I began to find myself drifting off to sleep amidst the running commentary of the announcers.

Except it wasn't the announcers, I realized, shaking myself out of what must have been less than a thirty second nap. It was my father, regaling my mother and I with a story of the days of his youth. This particular story was about a high school football game of some sort; with my father, the details are always lost in the kind of haze a sixty-nine year old man inevitably finds much of his history. Most of the time, you can tell when he's making bits up on the spot, smoothing over the tiny holes in the story his memory is no longer able to fill with the real events. Most of the time, I roll my eyes as I catch him and smile, making sure he's too busy to notice, gesturing wildly about some ridiculous scheme his brothers had involved him in when he was younger or the cheerleader who he is absolutely sure would have married him had he asked. Most of the time.

Today, I told him how ridiculous he was, and in the same breath told him how much I loved him and his stories. Something about the moment just stuck out from under the sea of self-wallowing a new term in school can bring crashing upon my shores. Despite the whirlwind of changes my life will likely be going through as I graduate this year and desperately try and figure out where I'm going, my dad will still be the exact same almost seventy storyteller, vehemently disagreeing with referees as a matter of principle. And while that rock may seem more like a pebble than a foundation to build stability on, to me my dad is as strong as any engineered slab of concrete, and his shoulders are bigger than any of the tall tales he tells me just to see me, out of the corner of his eye, roll my pupils skyward for a brief moment before sharing a smile.

MOG #18: Little, but a lot

There are three really significant things about this post. The first and foremost being it's from my best friend, Alex, whom you've already met (#8: A letter of Acceptance). The second being that this is her second time posting, proof that there's always something to be grateful for (And I really appreciate every time someone thinks of this blog when that happens). The last being that it's straight forward and short. I love the way you guys write; I love the effort, the style, the rhetoric, and if that's the way you want your MOG to be framed, that's fantastic. However simplicity is just as powerful and I encourage you to take on whatever form you see fit. Thanks again, sister of my soul. See you soon xoxo. 

Mary said a minimum of one sentence description is required for an MOG, so here it is – short and sweet. Today, my moment of gratitude is for one particular quick walk over to the local Starbucks;  a PSL when you thought they had gone out of season, and an hour or so escape from the world waiting for you back at school/home.

MOG #17: Love in letters

My heart is very happy that this person wrote for you all today; she's one of the most beautiful souls I've been lucky enough to find. Katie and I met in second year and bonded one day in Welsh hall over the fact that everything (school, roommates, moods, money) was awful but thank goodness that we had such "incredible" boyfriends who were "the only thing good in our lives" at the time. Oh how wrong we were.  While our relationships with these less than mediocre suitors ended about a month after, our friendship has only grown. From acquaintances, to best friends, to roommates and next year we become teacher candidates together, the laughs don't stop, the life chats never end, and the bond keeps growing. She's strong, she's aggressive, she's smart, she's the definition of sophisticated sass. I'm just one of her many fans. Adored by all, loved by many and she gives it right back. A truly selfless individual with a huge heart. I also happen to be a fan of her boyfriend too (Hi, Trav!!!!) and am really glad that her first post stems from the kindness in his heart too. Lots of heart to heart talk in this intro today; which is pretty much like a regular day in our humble abode.

Sometimes you have just one of those days, or weeks, or months, heck maybe even years. ‘m referencing towards the crap that life sometimes throws at you unexpectedly. I was having one of "those" weeks last week. In a matter of days I was told to pack my bags in September for a new city, sliced my thumb deep enough to warrant stitches and got stuck in a class with an individual that gives me unnecessary anxiety. Needless to say, life definitely threw some curveballs my way. But the beautiful thing that came out of all this was the support I received from a pretty special person.

Travis is my boyfriend of going on 2 years. As individuals, we don't particularly handle stress well and we certainly know how to test each others limits when the two of us are stressed together. While I was going through the many different emotions due to various events Travis was one step ahead in lightening the situation. I sliced my thumb and he called me Thumbelina; not only adorable but hilariously appropriate and being told that I'm loved no matter where I go is possibly the most comforting feeling. This kid didn't stop there. When he visited this weekend he showed up with a surprise. A Tim's card for coffee on my busy days and a card that reads.

Katie,

This has been a very tough week! A lot of unexpected things have happened and its hard coming back to school with anything like this! BUT you have been amazing throughout the whole ordeal! You have really proven how tough you are and with what the world can throw at you. You know exactly how to search through a situation and find something to make the best out of it. I have no doubt you will find that special thing wherever you are and with however many stitches you have at the time. We do not know what will give you enjoyment, but what I do know is I will be there with you to support you every step of the way.

Those words didn't quite hit me until I read them again after he left. The support shown in that note made me grateful that I have not only a kickass boyfriend but so many supportive people in my life. Its the crap that life throws at you that reminded me of who will be there through thick and thin. Needless to say , I've been blessed with a pretty solid partner in crime for those good and bad days, and I am truly grateful for that.

MOG #16: just January

One of my friends mentioned he was just feeling 'blah'as of late, like the life had been sucked out of him and he didn't want to anything. We've all been there, especially around this time of year. Honestly, blame it on the weather. Take a load off yourself and put it on something as arbitrary as the weather if that makes you feel a little bit better. This is the time of year to find any excuse to be happy, to choose happy. Little things- new mugs, extra cheese, loud music, good reads, loose pants... whatever it is, indulge. Feel good.

Then move on. 
I found this little life note I kept on USB when my hard drive got wiped. Written almost a year ago through a very therapist-ey/self loving practice. Basically you write down all the things that are bothering you on one side of the page, walk away from the document for a few minutes, and then come back to reassess as if you were someone else.  After reading it I just felt better when I didn't even know I was feeling that bad.

This mog is all about being thankful for the bad days that make the good days worth living; for the tough times that make you stronger and for the fact that I save little samples of writing for rainy days-it's all really nice to look back on.

 I just wanted to show you all that we all go through really hard times- I look at this document and remember just how low I was feeling that day.  I'm sharing this with you all not to say than I'm any more superhero-like than everyone, (y'all are the real hero's to me every time you read the submissions or write your own), just that I'm right there with you; I've been there too. Life's tough, you're tougher.
It's just January. Spring is on her way. Hang in there. 

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