MOG #108: The right kind of sunshine

Thanks to Pauline for sending in this MOG, inspired by spring, sunshine and a celebration of the self.

I’ve been told I’m a generally happy person. I’ve been asked by four and five year olds why I smile so much. I’ve been known to dance and sing off key around my kitchen. I’ve been known to randomly start skipping. I’ve even been accused of wearing “rose coloured glasses”. My heart is genuinely full of love for everything and everyone.

But I’m human. I have my random existential crises. Sometimes I wonder who I am, why I’m here, and what the meaning of all this really is. Sometimes I wonder where I fit and if I have a purpose. And I worry. My big heart gets punctured on a daily basis by news stories that terrify, disturb and upset me because sometimes being able to empathise with almost anyone can really weigh you down. And then I think of the fact that so many people are just trying to have enough food, water, shelter and safety to make it through the day and I feel even worse because I feel guilty for being sad or complaining at all.

Lately I have been having some rougher days. I worry or feel anxious and I don’t know why. I worry if I’m making a difference, or to quote John Mayer lyrics, "if I’m living it right". But then every once in a while, even on those more difficult days, something amazing happens. I get this feeling of love and peace overcome me, and inexplicably, I’m grateful, and I’m present. Sometimes it’s just for a moment, but I’ve noticed the more I am grateful, the longer those moments become.

Spring is my favourite time of year. I love the sunshine, and the warmth, and just being outside as much as humanly possible to soak it all in. It’s April 28^th and we have been having unseasonably cold, cloudy weather and I’ve been feeling down. But then all of a sudden, today it was warm, sunny, and beautiful. I took my dog for a walk immediately after work and walking through the field, the breeze blowing, his tail wagging, and the sun shining, I felt it. I was overcome by love and peace, and gratitude. I felt grounded in the earth and in my soul and I knew that God has a purpose for me, and I knew that I was supposed to be here, in this moment.
This is my moment of gratitude today, and so I had an obligation to share this feeling and to try and spread it. Because I want you to know, whoever is reading this that your life is important, and it has meaning, right now, at this moment. Regardless of your circumstances, and regardless of whether you currently feel peace, joy, or love, I can promise you that they are going to come over you at spontaneous moments when you least expect it. 

This is the purpose I feel for my life. I’m going to give away as much kindness and love as I possibly can, wait for these moments, soak them in, and then try to give it all right back. Today I’m thankful for the opportunity to wake up in the morning and do just that. And I’m thankful to keep trying to live it right.  

P.S- here's that John Mayer song!