MOG #56: All the ways, always

When I started this project, I knew that my life would change, and I was really excited to see what would happen next. It's been three months and I've noticed that changes have happened in my rhetoric, my conversations and my outlook on life, but I've also noticed changes in my friends. I don't mean to say that this blog is life changing or the best thing ever, but I think, truly believe and can testify that gratitude is life changing, and the best thing ever. I got to meet one of my favourite souls ever over the past few weeks, and it's because of this blog; a very good friend of mine shared it with her, and we happened to be in much closer parameters than she and I thought. To think, that we would have finished this year not getting to know the connection we have and I wouldn't have yet another fantastic person in my life. I really like Catie. I like her energy and her mindset and her outlook and her daily perseverance to keep her head up. She is a very dedicated in more ways than just school or work- she is dedicated to life. She is a student of this 'school of life'- she is always trying to learn, analyze and absorb all the information that she can and I have no doubt that her findings are both worthwhile, but also beneficial.
She also just started a wonderful blog; detoxthesoul.com, which you should  immediately go check out as soon as you're done reading her equally wonderful words. Both of which are a testament in her efforts to lead a fruitful life and she is doing that everyday.
A few days ago I hit another low-point in my life situation. Feeling a little more out of place than usual, being at home just wasn't the place I wanted to be most days. I was feeling a little less than a family member and a little more a cab driver with barely a "thank you" in return.

I live my life filled with gratitude, especially living out the idea that I should be thanking others for who they are and what they do. And being surrounded by a family that has lost track of such an idea, it gets to be difficult, but we get by as any other loving family does. I can feel myself choking up, my face burning, and the tears building up in my eyes as I type this because I can't thank my father enough for what he has done for me. He has always been remotely the only one to understand and to accept me for who I am.

I think the best way to handle this would be through some sort of confessional letter so, here it goes:

Dad, thank you for being my rock. It's weird to think that you've been with me my entire life but I've only existed for half of yours. And within that time, you have been the most significant person in shaping the lady I have become and still growing to be. I know you blame yourself for the things the struggles I've gone through but what you should really be doing is patting yourself on the back for being patient and kind because I know how difficult parenting can be - especially having a daughter such as myself. 

Truthfully, it's the little things that you've done that have impacted me so much. Like when you drove me to and from therapy back in high school and would ask me how it went, what we talked about, how I'm feeling, etc., or when you texted me every day without fail asking 'How are you?' when I moved away from home back in 1st Year, when you used to bring home large O'Henry chocolate bars solely for me when I was in elementary school, helping me redecorate my room and painstakingly put up the wallpaper that I just had to have, or letting me cry in your arms even until now. But the most significant thing that you had done for me dates all the way back to when I was in 1st grade: you volunteered to be a parent supervisor for a school trip to African Lion Safari and you bought me a necklace that had pink beads and little giraffes hanging on it. I was 6 years old then and believe it or not, I've kept it for all these years. It probably didn't mean much back then because well, you always get your kids something but its very sentimental now because it reminds me of that spectacular day we spend together with my classmates and just the act of you having volunteered to be there was amazing in and of itself. Dad, I know you're upset now, knowing that I'm moving out soon but I promise I will always be your little girl. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I love you.

I had been fighting back tears this entire time and only now am I willing to let them flow down my face. I really can't thank my Dad enough and I am so much looking forward to the coming years as our relationship as father and daughter continues to flourish.

To put it in a few words: thank you for being you.